Dip

If there were ever such a thing as true love, or soulmates, bound and quantumly entangled - even if we've never met I can imagine one thing plainly above all else:

When I dip she dip.

Beyond that, I mean... shit. No such luck in love. She's out there somewhere, and I'll always be ready to loose my virginity sometime. Damn, 25 and still a virgin.

There was a kid on this tv show who thought it was bad being 21 and still a virgin. He committed suicide because of it. Suicide? For that?

What an idiot.

I mean - I've done nearly everything EXCEPT for the actual act of inserting my penis into a vagina. I've had a BJ, gotten a handjob, I've gone down on a girl, used my first three fingers, and I've rubbed a clitorious - that's an amalgam of the words clitoris and victorious - from the innie and the outie. For someone who is still technically a virgin, these have been some intensely intimate experiences.

OK, so I haven't done everything. I've never done Anal, and I'm so terrified of contracting salmonella from getting poop on my penis that I don't think I want to. I've never inserted anything into my urethra. I've never participated in auto-erotic asphyxiation. I've never worn a leather ball gag and been slapped by a dominatrix. I've never dressed up like a furry Fox and had my dick sucked by three farm animals.

And there are plenty of things on Reddit that I've never heard of and will never do.

I've done the basics. It's just... I'm still a virgin.

I carry this brand around with me - people expect it less of me these days. They all think I've fucked someone. But I'm so fucking bad with girls - how could it be anything else?

I think - however, that I'm holding myself back. I'm holding myself back because... I'm too nice? I know that sounds selfish - but think on this: I have this idea that there are better guys out there. Guys with more money than me, and 6 pack abs, and perfect tan lines, and guys who know how to treat women - and I want people to be happy. I don't want anyone getting any less of what they deserve.

If it's a girl that I like - then she obviously deserves better than me right now.

I want to wait until I have more money. I want to wait until I have abs. I want to wait until I have a steady job - secure in my sanity. I want to wait.

But how long do I wait?


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