VLADISLOV SARKOV

Imagine that you’ve just entered a room. 

It’s not anything magic or strange, just a fucking room. Say the DC Hilton, or some similar establishment. The Renaissance Hotel in downtown Seattle. Some place like that. And in walks… Donald Fucking Trump. What do you say? What do you do? We all know what we’ve all thought of doing from time to time. 


Why isn’t he dead yet? That’s a very interesting question. Kathy Griffin asked that question - you KNOW you were fucking thinking it. WE’VE ALL THOUGHT ABOUT IT.No one who wants to preserve Democracy in America HASN’T. 

Or, maybe that’s just me. But thoughts and words are NOT actions, and they never can be.That’s why we have the freedom of speech and the freedom of expression and the freedom of thought in this country. 

We HAVE to allow everyone the rights to their opinions, or else we are an authoritative regime.But what you forget to consider when Trump walks into the room you’re in - for some swanky State Department function - is that into that room with Trump is a guy called Vladislav Sarkov. And this is a guy that you HAVE to remind yourself about every minute of every day.Everyone in Russia knows who this guy is. He’s probably the mastermind of everything right now. 

Do we have an American mastermind at the moment? Do we have ANYONE who is sitting down for the long game to counter him? I can’t hardly think so, because he’s been at this for decades, and the thing about American government is that is is consistently refreshed. Every four years new people come to power. New faces come onto the scene.Who would be our Sarkov? 

It might have at one point been Palozzi, but she’s quite frankly too old to be taken seriously anymore. Her and McCain and McConnell and all of those fuckers are too fucking old - they’ve fallen in line lock-step just like everyone else. This is ALL Russia. We are ALL Russia.The thing about Sarkov - is that he WANTS you to know he’s here. He WANTS you to know that Russia is doing all of this. He wants to get into your head, to make you constantly question the truth. 

What the fuck is true anymore?

Nothing. Nothing is true anymore.

But to be honest, was it ever? In 2008, a third of Americans said that they honestly believed they were under threat from witches. That is honestly the stupidest thing that I had ever heard, until the next stupidest thing I had ever heard, and the next, and the next.

Americans are fucking idiots - which is why it’s so fucking easy to pull one over on us.God, I’m so fucking confused.

The sun is a lie. Pancakes are a lie. Cake is a lie. Pans are a lie. Lies are a lie. Crippled existences are a lie. Strong people are a lie. Weakness is a lie. I am a lie. You are a lie. We are all a lie. The world is a lie. The moon is a lie. Tectonic plates are a lie. Earthquakes are a lie. Stanley Tucci is a lie. Day is a lie. Night is a lie. Mel Gibson is a lie.

The whole of life, after all, is only one letter removed from a lie.


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