The Walmart Protests: I Am Walmart

In the Political Science discipline, we like to call Walmart a "multinational corporation." These entities, not unlike Intergovernmental Organizations (IGOs) such as the UN, have a direct impact on the affairs of individuals and governments throughout the world.

Nobody can forget the infamous South Park episode in which the Comedy Central television series spoofed Walmart and the Matrix. The episode was in response to many people's concerns that Walmart was outproducing local, small-town retailers and putting them out of business. Walmart has come a long way on a productivity scale since then.

Walmart is the nation's largest consumer of solar power products. The president of Walmart was invited to sit in at the most recent Clinton Global Initiative conference, along with influential leaders like Barrack Obama and Muhammed Morsi. Walmart is a key player concerning trade negotiations between the USA and the FSM (Mexico), particularly concerning tomatoes, which could inadvertently tilt the outcome of the US presidential election in November. Needless to say, Walmart is now a key player in Domestic and International Relations.

The one thing nobody could have predicted was a strike by Walmart employees. I don't think I'm saying anything beyond what should be considered common knowledge here when I say that Walmart is known for scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to their employees. They have always had a great reputation for hiring the types of people that really couldn't get a job anywhere else. These include: the overly obese, the elderly, the disabled, veterans, and run-of-the-mill idiots. Basically the opposite of Nordstrom. Everyone knows that's how they charge such low prices.

This is why I don't see the protest as applicable. My message to the protestors involved: prove to me you could get a job anywhere else, and then you can complain about your wages. Until then, you're just pulling tricks out of your ass.